So it’s the holidays

i stuck my neck out in order to rule out a potential match or …..not. They didn’t block me at least. But no reply. in fact, no online activity that I know of since I sent the message. I’m like an unskilled and unwilling stalker lol I won’t contact again. I’m trying to be patient. it’s hard when you don’t know if they got the message or not. Yay, Nay, or Hang on and let me check. That is all I need as a reply. If it’s yay then I want PHOTOS or even a photo. I’m truly just after a little knowledge of my birth family. That is all. I’m an introvert.. No problems here when it comes to giving anyone their space. In fact, I don’t even know how to act around a family. My adopted parents didn’t mingle. I think I met a cousin once when I was 3. I have no idea who she belonged to just that I liked her a lot and pushed her down a couple of steps. (different blog lol) I suspect she may have been eyeing my tricycle.

I feel whimpy this holiday season. I’m 1300 miles from home. My house is not being watched or maintained properly and I suspect that my dog Talullah is being picked on and is sad. She goes to the vet tomorrow so I instructed my daughter to pay extra attention to her at the after doc park trip and through treats. I can’t be two places at once.

Family Tree DNA is taking their ol’ sweet time. 1-2 weeks for an eternity. I can barely stand it. I may not have matches there anyways. But I’d like to at least have it out there just by chance there will be one. I hear of people giving up after their results have been posted “too long with no matches”. I feel like screaming “Wait! Mine aren’t there yet!!!”

I’m always happy when I see a reunited family. I see a lot of them and have even helped find a few. Usually they are in mutual search. A lot of times I skim through the search info and say “Oh, they are those people that have names.” Even a correct date would be nice. Sounds funny something so simple. To have a name. I’ve always felt names weren’t important. After all, I’ve never known mine but I’m here. Sort of. I may have never had a name to start with. I have a file set up in case I die before I find out my identity. The search will continue. It has everything needed to continue and hopefully will have things crossed out. It’s hard at this point to even cross anything out. An example would be the last probable match. The person we contacted didn’t know. She did reply however. Not to my email but to a genealogist’s. She (the possible match) didn’t seem too curious either. We moved on, but couldn’t actually cross her out either.

I don’t get it. No one likes surprises in their trees? I love it when I look out the window and see a new baby white squirrel playing with it’s black sibling squirrel in the tree. Cuteness. Adventure. New life. Whatever. I would love to find a new family member—A mystery. Truth.

I’ll be cooking for 3 people and 3 dogs this Thanksgiving. We are keeping it real simple and real good. My middle boy is going over to his half (paternal) brother’s house perhaps for dinner. I told him to go enjoy himself and if offered left overs take the deserts! We have the main course covered. šŸ™‚ It’s hard to cook for only 3. i usually cook for 10 plus who ever stops by. I was thinking of going out for Thanksgiving but then I thought of crowds traffic and the fact I was to be thankful and not regretful.

One thing that hurts my search is newspaper archives. I have clippings all over this house and know what papers they came out of. I search for them online just to check how hard they are to find. I only find half of them. With the article in front of me that I know is there and all the wording, I still can’t find it online. That answers a lot. At work we’d always say “if it’s not written down, it didn’t happen.” We never really covered “If it’s written down, it still may have not happened.” But both statements are somehow true. Unfortunate for my search.

It’s time to stick my neck out again……



2 thoughts on “So it’s the holidays

  1. My fingers are crossed for you, for what it’s worth. I know how desperate it can feel to want answers and connection to biological family. I hope you have a peaceful Thanksgiving and get some answers. ((Hugs to you))

    • Thank you. I feel like a robbed a bank or something when I hit “send” after carefully wording my message. I always have that fear that they will read it and say “OMG that kid found us” lol

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