No News Is No News.

I have been checking for new matches daily and I’ve got a few new distant cousins. No top tens or anything. I’ve yet to find a match of any level with my U5B2C2 maternal haplogroup but there is a couple U5 s on Gedmatch. Not too many test mtDNA though. I revisited the geno 2.0 site and checked the “our story” section for the first time. Not a lot there but it’s a good idea  if only it was more interactive. There needs to be a well known forum or something for these members.

The last couple days I’ve been playing with data. Looking at surnames and going nuts wondering if my second cousin is actually not that close. When I look at other cousins trees and hers I see common surnames but dates and locations off. Just when I think I’ve found a sibling to a surname I’m following I find the parents are different. Second marriage? Typo? I am not sure. I have a 3rd/4th cousin who’s great grandfather was adopted. I may have found his dad, which will really help with my connection to this cousin. We’ll see. Both families were in Wisconsin and traveled back to Upstate NY during the same time period. It would be perfect. If it’s the case then I have a GGgrandparent. I still won’t know what side but it will help. As it stands now, I can’t go by that part of his tree because it will reflect adopted parents from that guys parents back.

Back to my second cousin. There is something really wrong with this. I think my grandparent from her Ggrandparents was adopted out or something. I’m having trouble with a common ancestor with people in common with her. Also, it’s almost like inlaws hooked up way back in her tree. Her paternal GGG surname is hooked up with her maternal GGG surname according to other peoples (dna matches)  trees. I know that can’t be the case but it feels better than that many typos. On ancestry I think people snatch up ancestors. I think they would be better off to just enter a name and put a question mark until they find the proper proof/paperwork. I know I would be better off that way 🙂 If there were some back and forth with inlaws or siblings of which dating back to GGgrandparents then it seems like we would both be getting a little more dna from all sides than normal. Perhaps we are more like 3rd cousins. Or we share just one Great grandparent. We are not at 212 cM we share 204.4 cM so that is a tad low for 2nds. We keep looking at men when it could have been a great granny or even just a granny who got into a little secret situation with my parent/grandparent. I know that I share a lot of x chromosome  with my female cousin who is only 6 years older than me. I heard that meant to rule out her paternal grandfather’s father because of the male to male thing with x. I don’t know because there is still a mother there that can give x to the son and other siblings. What I know is we are NOT related through her mother’s mother etc nor are we through my mother’s mother etc.

I take all these surnames periodically and try out the dates of my mother’s life. The one I found ended up in Iowa. I have 3rd cousins linked with Iowa. The story I found I hope is not my mother. Not because I don’t want some less than perfect story, it’s just because it’s so horrific that I could never hope for any relationship with these siblings not even a letter. I followed it right down to a survivor who’s only online presence is a mail list for a hobby/craft. The other survivor (possible sibling) looked a lot like me in photos but a lot shorter. The mother fit the description of my mother. The date and cause of death were a tad off. If this turns out to be my family there is no tactful way to approach them after all they have been through. They would want no reminder of me or the event that took place leading to their mother’s death. I would just have to remain silent and perhaps save a photo here and there. I put all the newspaper clipings, facebook pages, find a graves and photos in a folder on my desktop. The back burner for now. The surnames and approximate dates led me there and then finding the similarities kept me reading on. The mother was one of five kids and she had five kids. I have 5 kids. The father, after “it” happened remarried and had 5 more kids. It was the tragedy that I had nightmares about. It’s a long shot and I hope the state of NY would not have stretched the truth that much. In truth, the kids were old enough to have remembered me but …..I may have been the kid born out of wedlock that got sent away before anyone knew. This woman and her husband divorced 3 years prior to my birth and she lived alone with her kids until that day. It’s in a folder just by chance. I feel resentful that the state of NY would even let anyone go down that road of wondering if they fit in this tragedy or the next one that surely will present itself. I’ve been given this information that I have to guess what is true and if it’s a typo, lie or just bad record keeping. If my mother was dead who then gave this information? If she gave me up at birth then how would it contain information of her death at all. If the records were sealed then they wouldn’t have had that info so something was either made up or filled in before the records were sealed. It’s like a puzzle with not only missing pieces but jagged tore up muddy ones. Can’t tell if they fit or not at times.

I know I find nothing on my dna matches’ trees that look like my mother’s info. I find plenty everywhere that could have been my father.

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