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Now it’s not only Valentine’s Day but a Saturday night. Get off of gedmatch so I can get on lol My cousin from Ancestry who was 10 matches up from my 3rd cousin on FTDNA and Gedmatch, finally uploaded to gedmatch. She is not ready for one to many (last I knew) but I was able to see some things and compare her to my matches. She doesn’t share as much cM as I thought she would. So what does that mean? Does it mean that the 10 people between her and my other cousin are only 1cM apart? Wow Whee. I waited for someone to mail something off for me. Hmm hmm. And they slow walked me. For WEEKS. Finally, they shipped not only that certain item for me, but their kits that I paid for them to take. Yay. So I will be in all 3 pools plus have a couple of known relatives in there too. Should be very interesting to see. Ancestry trees are helpful but not nearly as important as FTDNA’s data. I like to see how long a block and how much cM without having to pester and provide tutorials to matches to get them on gedmatch. To an adoptee with no name, it’s vital to see how much a match and I share. The trees on ancestry are good, but would be better if we all were on a huge wiki type tree. DNA attached. Sure there would be blunders here and there. But it would all but sound off buzzers when you actually connected. Finding that MRCA would be a lot easier. I got in huge trouble using member connect on ancestry and also the merge feature. Thought I was being a regular smarty pants. Then…..I had to get rid of some wives and “twins” and mother in laws as siblings and mothers as spouses. That last one was because of the “member connect” who was tripping when they did exactly what I was doing. I got most of it fixed without losing too many legit 2nd and 3rd spouses. But when your eyes start watering and you are nodding out, it’s best to quit any methodology you may be working on. And getting carried away with lol
|Chr||Start Location||End Location||Centimorgans (cM)||SNPs|
Largest segment = 32.6 cM
Total of segments > 7 cM = 43.0 cM
Estimated number of generations to MRCA = 4.2
Above is my cousin (Female) on ancestry who is next in line after my 2nd cousin. She does not match her and shares no X with me. We have determined that we match through a Moore/Ellsworth of NY. Possibly their son Otis but not his wife a Mahaney.
About 10-15 people down is my ftdna cousin (Male) who has that adopted great grandfather on his mother’s side.
|Chr||Start Location||End Location||Centimorgans (cM)||SNPs|
Largest segment = 43.8 cM
Total of segments > 7 cM = 43.8 cM
Estimated number of generations to MRCA = 4.2
He does not share on X either nor does he match my second cousin or my Above cousin.
I can’t wait until my cousin (Female) is ready for one to many so I can do more with the data. I’d like to see where they put her. I wonder why Ancestry put her so fare above the rest? They did this before I had any name that matched or circles. The only 2 circles I have are of people who match on my second cousin’s side. Flint/Hart. that is my Rodman Lewis Reed Patchin Phelps West etc.
I don’t do a lot with my second cousins data because her tree is a contradiction to itself within itself and other’s trees who share ancestors. I don’t know what to believe. Even the census makes it unclear who is who or with who. Tons of servents and borders and name changes (nicknames and typos?) Cousins/nieces lived with inlaws etc. I seem to connect with her on all sides. Makes me wonder if we just “share too much DNA” and not truly that close. Crossed lines so to speak? Quakers with tons of kids. Very difficult. She says she has no clue and that she didn’t research whatever side I’m on. i know I’m on that one side but maybe the other also. There are some Clarks, Wheelers, and Tuttles complicating things. I have two different Hawkins lines in there also.
|Chr||Start Location||End Location||Centimorgans (cM)||SNPs|
Largest segment = 33.9 cM
Total of segments > 7 cM = 183.5 cM
Estimated number of generations to MRCA = 3.1
We Do share on X
|Chr||Start Location||End Location||Centimorgans (cM)||SNPs|
Largest segment = 30.1 cM
Total of segments > 7 cM = 30.1 cM Actual.
So I figured since we shared on X that she might get it from her father who gets it from his mother but not his dad and so on. So there is 3 grands But we share a Great. So I went back and said well the x can be from her grandmother but NOT her grandfather and his Dad. But there is the Great grandmother on that side. BUT she feels we are connected through her grandfather’s bro and was wiling to have her 1st cousin (male) test if I paid for it. So I had to think about that X and the fact that I don’t seem to share many surnames on that side. Her paternal Grandfather and his Bro got X from the mother(Great) But could not have passed it to her through the Father. Yeah, so I look at my other cousins. It’s a shame as we share a lot of DNA.
I wonder since the two female cousins don’t match each other and one shares X with me and one doesn’t if they share on chromosome 5 on different sides. I feel the second cousin is on my Father’s side (lots of cousins on this side) and the Other one is on my mother’s side (hardly any cousins on this side). The fella I think is on my father’s side too but too far back to match my second cousin. It seems like it’s on his adopted Great grandfather’s side (hahaha). I have other cousin’s that were convinced I was on their father’s side but it turns out I was on that side that connects to my second cousin. Again too far back to match her. Rodman. Always a Rodman lol I found a living Rodman who seemed very interested until I offered to pay for a DNA test for them. Haven’t heard a thing since. Maybe they will surprise me and just appear in my matches one day. I feel we would at least be 1st cousins or something.
I have a nice big group of cousins who all match on chromo 10. Don’t know what is so special about that place yet.
I’ve sent away for an obit of a person who has very little posted online. She will ruin every theory I have. I don’t know if this is easy to follow or not but here it goes. I’m pretty sure I have those Reed/Rodmans in my DNA. the one suspect to be my grandmother married a Ketcham. Quite a few of his ancestors are in my cousins trees. Looks right. Ketcham father. Possibly mating with a Graham/Peltier Or Rowe (Moore decedent) My mother. Really not sure about that. BUT this person ruins this whole theory because–She is the sister of the Reed of Reed/Rodman AND she married a MOORE. Crap. If she is my grandmother and she connects these two “sides” it ruins everything. Because now we are left needing another “side” Still my mother. This is where my second cousins tree that has two different women down as bio mom of these female sibs destroys my search. It’s important. My mother’s Mother has to have the right haplogroup U5b2c2. How I know these girls don’t have that? My second cousin. These girls are her grandmother’s sister’s. If they share her mother (and they should) they are not my haplogroup. Another reason I believe it’s on my father’s side. Anything goes if it’s a male from that side (grandfather). BUt It points to one of these sisters (female Reeds) if NOT a male Rodman.
A search angel that keeps in touch with me and has access to my DNA etc. is concerned about the lack of any sign of my mother. Was I born in Canada? Germany? England? Scotland? Was I born here but she from another country? She is off the grid. All this genealogy going on and no one 1934-1967 in the state of NY who matches at all ever? These older siblings…they don’t remember their mother being prego just a few short months before she died? If she died in Jan 1967 I was born on the last day of Sept the year prior. I was 3 months old. The sibs were at the very least 2 4 6 and 8. Most likely older. Where they gone? Did they actually die in infancy? Were we all shipped off? Was I the only one shipped off and they never seen their mother prego? Did she die in prison? Was I born in prison? Was I kidnapped? Was my mother told I was stillborn? Did she just die last week? It’s maddening. Traditional search never worked because there were no mutual searchers. At least not with info like mine. I’m disregarded because they are looking for anyone but a female born on September 30, 1966 with a dead mother. I found a fellow born on my birthday but a few years prior in NY. I wrote him (replied through his search query) No response. He just posted the thing. He disregarded me because of non id. Such trust we put in a system who lies to us about everything else. They sealed the records. What makes us think they felt a need to give us the truth. Why? They are not accountable. Why would they be when we aren’t to find out the truth anyways? They could tell us any old thing. How would we know? But still, we disregard each other, just the way it was intended.
I got a reply. Nacho Mama. He was very polite and even took a while before replying. Maybe he was checking things out, like me, my info and his own tree. He may have even spoke with family members. He said it was his aunt in question and she was far too ill in 1966 to have even conceived. Ok then, on we go. I read on some facebook group again where someone got their “updated non id”. I know when I tried that this year, I got shut down immediately. I got a copy of the same old info with a big red “copy” stamped across it and a letter letting me know the date I first got it. They weren’t looking at any other info just sending me what I already got years ago and a note to let me know that they know I got it. Yet, somehow, some people get that. The agency that handled my adoption simply refers me to the state and says they don’t deal with any old adoption info. Yet other’s claim they have done this. In fact, the State of NY adoption registry has a check box to get info from the agency. I’ve tried both ways (check/uncheck) and get nothing. I wonder now, did a birth family member years ago in fact contact the registry to make it clear they do NOT want contact or info released? Is my case but a flagged one? I find no evidence at all of my mother. DNA seems to point to my father and his people. Unless my mother did NOT die in early 1967 of septicemia cause by streptococcal infection origin unknown. Unless she was not 32 when I was born. Having 4 children prior to me does not insure they were live births nor does it disprove her have 4+ children prior to me. She could have had 10 prior to me. Nothing states where I was born. Nothing states where or if she was buried. I somehow ended up adopted out by Onondaga Social Services with the help of Caswell as an attorney. I found adoption application approval along with my doctor’s booklet form after adoption and an Order of adoption. Nothing has any other name than “the adoption of Susan Marie” That is it. My adopted parents swear they never knew my name or any information prior to my adoption. They did say they overheard the name Kline and they think it’s something to do with my birth mother/father or foster home. I found no birth announcements on my date and time where I can not see evidence of that child growing up (marriage, graduation, jail etc) No vanishing child. The woman I got convinced was my birth mother will not share her DNA results with me. No closure there. I thought perhaps since we shared 3 markers way back then on the bogus test, we would at least be distant cousins. I’ll never know. She either threw out the test or is hiding something. I could be her sister for all I know lol. I know I don’t share any DNA with the fellow that would have been my birth DAD. So maybe there is something wrong there. Who knows? I sure don’t. Maybe my ex birth mom and I DO match and she doesn’t want us to. Perhaps that is what she is hiding. It sure stinks to put it lightly. I jumped right back into my search in an attempt to NOT think of what prompted her to call and say there was a mistake. I jumped back in to my search to NOT feel yet another rejection. Mostly to not waste any more time. It does make me wonder what prompted that call. Did she know something all along? I did notice some strange behavior from her but just over looked it. No one is perfect. When it comes down to it though, there is that whole do unto others thing. I would never do that to another human being. I was excited to show my results and what we may have in common. She made it a point to mess up a kit, get another kit number and password, claim to have to wait until “next weekend” “after shopping” “some other time to Untangle this mess” That is the one that got me. More computer saavy than I, yet setting up a new account is a “mess” that needs “untangled”?????? Yeah, OK. I don’t know what to think anymore. Another search angel just dropped. She told me I need a genetic genealogist. NO, What I need is Penelope Garcia 🙂 No muss no fuss. She’d break right into the truth. I don’t think any surname at this point is going to help with this. There is something wrong. I got a 3rd cousin that proved to be a 5th and I think my second cousin is really a 4th cousin. I think it has something to do with INLAWS mating. We share more DNA than what we should because we share on more than one side. My parents are NOT related according to gedmatch. That doesn’t necessarily mean that my father’s people weren’t related. If one side has that “pedigree collapse” that may be all it takes to raise the DNA. I think, don’t know. My mother and her other people vanished. I have a distant cousin now that has a U5b2something else. Mine is U5B2C2 —closest I’ve seen so far. I wonder. I know my second cousins people on both sides are OLD enough to put more gens between us. They show that they mated late in life. If one got pregnant early or got a maid pregnant early then her Grand parent could easily be my Great Grandparent. Something like that is happening. And another adoption and her grandparents people mated. I have tons of 4th and 5th cousins with adopted greats. I also have a few that were adopted themselves. We are dealing with Quakers here people. I thought for sure as did my 4th cousin that we were related on her father’s side. No, her mother’s GGGgrandmother Patience was the sister to my GGGGgrandfather John Rodman. It is the only common ancestor I can find in fact (so far) So I’m guessing I share with my second with Asa and Jacob Rodman. By the way, John had a son who named his son after his great uncle Asa. Caused a lot of confusion for me lol The thought has crossed my mind that I am related to my second cousin on her Mother’s and Father’s side. So Maybe we only appear to be 2nd cousins. Maybe I only appear to be here right now. Maybe nothing is as it appears. What I do know is that my mother is not appearing at all.
Well Update time. I found a woman a long time ago but some info didn’t quite match up plus no real proof. I bookmarked her. Since then she has come up a few more times but same story. This time she came up because of location, surname and a time period of one of her ancestors. Same woman. Still no real proof because no one has done DNA in her family. I looked to see how many trees she appears on and who manages them. I found one that uses the surname (of her children) with the number 62 next to it. Could that be their year of birth? There is one sibling showing private on her tree and one that looks like she died within her first year of life. No info on any others. Her mother that would be my grandmother IF she’s my mother died 2 days before my birthday. The cause of death isn’t truly off. My mother was said to die of septicemia caused by streptococcal infection origin unknown. This woman may have died of septicemia but origin would definitely be known…severe diabetes. Heck of a thing to leave out huh? Well, I reached out and wrote to the tree owner. It shows they logged in yesterday so hopefully that wasn’t a once in a while event. No reply yet of course. Seeing as it’s the middle of the night and all….lol I copied the photo just in case I get blocked or something. If they go private then that may be an answer right there. If not maybe they will reply one way or the other. They only thing that troubles me a tad is the fact they weren’t looking for me. But, maybe they didn’t know. Maybe it’s the wrong person. Maybe anything. It’s hard to know whether to go forward or not when this happens. I can’t tell from the photo if she even looks like me. Her mother does a little. She fits the description but then again, who doesn’t? It’s a pretty vague description. My second cousin doesn’t seem too willing to share. My 3rd cousins sent surname lists and shared trees etc. They are trying as hard as they can, even stating that by helping me it could possibly help with their own ancestors. My second cousin does genealogy as a living. I wonder if she doesn’t know already some of my answers but doesn’t really want the likes of me in her tree. All I can do is wonder at this point. I’m hoping for just one more close match or just one reply. That would be more than nice. The part of “no extended family” isn’t so either but it may be half a statement. No extended family that wanted you. Or perhaps we didn’t try to notify any extended family. Same old questions. Maybe they will write back. Until then I’m going to force a nap since it’s going on 4am 😉
I have been checking for new matches daily and I’ve got a few new distant cousins. No top tens or anything. I’ve yet to find a match of any level with my U5B2C2 maternal haplogroup but there is a couple U5 s on Gedmatch. Not too many test mtDNA though. I revisited the geno 2.0 site and checked the “our story” section for the first time. Not a lot there but it’s a good idea if only it was more interactive. There needs to be a well known forum or something for these members.
The last couple days I’ve been playing with data. Looking at surnames and going nuts wondering if my second cousin is actually not that close. When I look at other cousins trees and hers I see common surnames but dates and locations off. Just when I think I’ve found a sibling to a surname I’m following I find the parents are different. Second marriage? Typo? I am not sure. I have a 3rd/4th cousin who’s great grandfather was adopted. I may have found his dad, which will really help with my connection to this cousin. We’ll see. Both families were in Wisconsin and traveled back to Upstate NY during the same time period. It would be perfect. If it’s the case then I have a GGgrandparent. I still won’t know what side but it will help. As it stands now, I can’t go by that part of his tree because it will reflect adopted parents from that guys parents back.
Back to my second cousin. There is something really wrong with this. I think my grandparent from her Ggrandparents was adopted out or something. I’m having trouble with a common ancestor with people in common with her. Also, it’s almost like inlaws hooked up way back in her tree. Her paternal GGG surname is hooked up with her maternal GGG surname according to other peoples (dna matches) trees. I know that can’t be the case but it feels better than that many typos. On ancestry I think people snatch up ancestors. I think they would be better off to just enter a name and put a question mark until they find the proper proof/paperwork. I know I would be better off that way 🙂 If there were some back and forth with inlaws or siblings of which dating back to GGgrandparents then it seems like we would both be getting a little more dna from all sides than normal. Perhaps we are more like 3rd cousins. Or we share just one Great grandparent. We are not at 212 cM we share 204.4 cM so that is a tad low for 2nds. We keep looking at men when it could have been a great granny or even just a granny who got into a little secret situation with my parent/grandparent. I know that I share a lot of x chromosome with my female cousin who is only 6 years older than me. I heard that meant to rule out her paternal grandfather’s father because of the male to male thing with x. I don’t know because there is still a mother there that can give x to the son and other siblings. What I know is we are NOT related through her mother’s mother etc nor are we through my mother’s mother etc.
I take all these surnames periodically and try out the dates of my mother’s life. The one I found ended up in Iowa. I have 3rd cousins linked with Iowa. The story I found I hope is not my mother. Not because I don’t want some less than perfect story, it’s just because it’s so horrific that I could never hope for any relationship with these siblings not even a letter. I followed it right down to a survivor who’s only online presence is a mail list for a hobby/craft. The other survivor (possible sibling) looked a lot like me in photos but a lot shorter. The mother fit the description of my mother. The date and cause of death were a tad off. If this turns out to be my family there is no tactful way to approach them after all they have been through. They would want no reminder of me or the event that took place leading to their mother’s death. I would just have to remain silent and perhaps save a photo here and there. I put all the newspaper clipings, facebook pages, find a graves and photos in a folder on my desktop. The back burner for now. The surnames and approximate dates led me there and then finding the similarities kept me reading on. The mother was one of five kids and she had five kids. I have 5 kids. The father, after “it” happened remarried and had 5 more kids. It was the tragedy that I had nightmares about. It’s a long shot and I hope the state of NY would not have stretched the truth that much. In truth, the kids were old enough to have remembered me but …..I may have been the kid born out of wedlock that got sent away before anyone knew. This woman and her husband divorced 3 years prior to my birth and she lived alone with her kids until that day. It’s in a folder just by chance. I feel resentful that the state of NY would even let anyone go down that road of wondering if they fit in this tragedy or the next one that surely will present itself. I’ve been given this information that I have to guess what is true and if it’s a typo, lie or just bad record keeping. If my mother was dead who then gave this information? If she gave me up at birth then how would it contain information of her death at all. If the records were sealed then they wouldn’t have had that info so something was either made up or filled in before the records were sealed. It’s like a puzzle with not only missing pieces but jagged tore up muddy ones. Can’t tell if they fit or not at times.
I know I find nothing on my dna matches’ trees that look like my mother’s info. I find plenty everywhere that could have been my father.
via ISO Siblings in NY 1948 – 1965. I’m trying to drum up some likes for my Facebook page i created for my search. It is focused on Upstate NY adoptees in search but serves as another online presence for those in search from anywhere. I have 4 likes. I’m a chicken sharer. Meaning I don’t spam other pages or groups and that isn’t how it’s done I know, but I’m just not brazen enough to do that. Although I’ve liked a few pages that did just that. 🙂
I have 1-2 weeks of waiting on my DNA. It’s killing me 😉 My last possible lead is quite frankly scaring the hell out of me. It’s seems so close to my info. I had to give up looking for fellow adoptees in search as it appears I was the only sibling adopted out. Me. Of course. It also appears I have younger half siblings. If (that tiny word with the HUGE meaning) this lead is on track. It’s at the stage where I have to make some contact. I have to ask someone a question in some extremely careful way if I’m their sister. Or if it’s possible we are connected somehow by a common family member. There will be that question “well who are you, or what is your name?” The answer would be “I don’t know, it’s why I’m contacting you.” Doesn’t sound to good to me either. I feel this lead may be close since I am now scared to death. I’ve learned a lot about other people’s family trees. I feel like a stalker peering into other peoples lives. All the while trying to find my place in it. Like I’m trying to attach myself in some way to someone else’s life. It’s not really in my nature to do this sort of thing. But it is or was or could have been my family too. Or like a few other times, is just a fluke. I can’t rely on my non id to be accurate. It’s already pretty vague. If only it contained exact dates or first names. Just a tad more info would save me from contacting someone with that question that certainly has to be sugar coated. Did your mother have just one more baby before she died in 1967? How in the world do you do this diplomatically? I did reach out to someone and their reply was….no reply at all. Do I cross you off and just move on now? Well, it’s what I did. i’m rehearsing things this time. Such as “funny story to share with you…..you see I had this mother but don’t know her name, she died when yours did in the same locality…I wouldn’t be mentioned in the obits of course because I was a secret.” Sounds like something that gets deleted. Actually in truth, if I were to get such a letter I’d be intrigued. I’d be asking around the family in a quest for truth. But as I have learned time and time again, I am simply not like others in that regard. What could an infant possibly have done to be shunned so? it may turn out to be more like ‘what does this baby represent that is worth running from?” I must tread lightly. Always. I’m scared. If only I could do enough research to rule someone out but I can’t. It is not going to be spelled out in this case. There is no birth announcement for me. Not in the city I was “born in.” Which is actually only the city my adopted parents lived in at the time. My BC has been amended. My life was amended. I was amended. There is a little resemblance I see with one person who would be my oldest sister —if—this is a match. I still don’t know. She is following back on twitter now. Should I tweet something to entice her into reading my story? Would it ring a bell? Would it send me, my twitter and my blog to hell? I have to think on this. I have to rehearse. I will probably say something from the heart. The scared, uncertain, unrehearsed heart. But what?
I’m going to soak in a hot dizzy bubble bath along with my thoughts. When i come out i should have all the answers. But i won’t.. At least the fear will go down the drain as it is not proving useful to me right now. I so do not want to hurt or offend anyone. If this is my family (even if it’s not) I don’t want to cause a family feud or bring up horrible memories.
If this is my family OMG. I am so proud of them. They moved on and lived! I however am just stuck. I know I mustn’t wait for this or that to start living but somehow I do feel like I need to know my past in order to head towards my future. I just want a glimpse. It would explain me being artsy in a world (family) full of applied type stable …hum drum….traditional? Can’t think of the word. It’s a word that I am not. It’s the opposite of true to self. It’s one of those amended words. lol
There are many things about this family that make sense as to my adoption and non id info. There are a few things off too though as far as dates. Just a few. The other family was right on the money (the two families share some surnames in their tree too). Thinking of family trees, both had mystery slots. A birth–no name or follow ups and things such as that. Large gaps in info around the time I was born. September 30, 1966. Upstate NY. Mother died in 1967. Four older siblings. If my non id is incorrect with the very thing I mention to someone they would say “Oh no this is no matched based on ________” Fill in the blank with whatever wrong info the state of New York gave me and that will be the end even if we are family. I’m thinking I should just say “Hey do DNA ’cause it is FUN!” Maybe that will solve the problem except for the obvious reasons it’ wouldn’t lol No one is going to include “mystery baby unknown but given away lost or stolen” in their family trees. Or “Mother went missing fat and came back thin…don’t know why” but that would however make things a lot easier.
Maybe my mother was a hitch hiking artist who went from town to town, got pregnant, gave the child up and went on to the next place. Maybe I was no stranger to life under the big top? Let me give it a try….”Round and round and round she goes, where she stops nobody knows!” “Step right up, don’t be shy…” It’s no use. I’m off to soak 🙂