Updated New or Different Non ID/ Memories through DNA

Mother born abt 1934
“legal” father born abt 1930
Brothers 1953
1955
1956
1962
Sisters 1958
1960

Me 1966

and on the run with Mom. She left and changed her name. Got sick and left me with neighbors then died at the hospital Upstate Medical Center before Jan 19 1967 when I was handed over to social services (not sure location)

I recently read a few articles one of which was this one¬†Almost hocus pocus except it’s not.

When reading my new non id info it was easier to read between the lines than the lines themselves. Not quite the same as the first non id I got. No longer looking for 4 siblings am I. I am not the youngest of 4 –well, I do have 4 half sibs but there are more. Mom had 7 children with my “legal” father. She was still married technically even though she left with me (or i came later) and she changed her name. We almost made it, Mom. ūüôā After she died of a different cause than previously told to me, the neighbors handed me over to the state. For some reason DSS thought I was bi racial so it took some time for me to be placed (they had to see what color I turned into) It is said that my foster mother wanted to keep me but they didn’t let her. (I believe this as I seem to have wanted to return to her) She didn’t seem to care what race I was. Maybe the neighbors who babysat me were black? Maybe abusive Legal Father said I was half black? Who knows. My mother had strawberry blonde Hair like me—not Brown hair. They maintain the English/German thing. The seven siblings were living with the “legal” father’s parents. He signed me away in August 1967. 2 days before I met my new parents in 1968 it was said that I was pretty with blonde curly hair, fair coloring, ¬†and blue eyes. I was quite responsive and very happy child.

One of the 1934-1967 NY women looked at had 7 kids and lived in Seneca NY. I wonder now as this woman didn’t seem to have a lot of info available. This would be true of my mother as well.

I’m so glad I never approached my bio dad’s family. I need to know what happened to my mother first. Something is not jiving although this new info makes more sense. The youngest of the children with “legal” father was 5 when I was born. I don’t know if they knew of me or not. The teen aged boys should have lord only knows what they were told much less what they believed. It’s said she left because of the stress of raising a large family and the “pressure to seek mental Health treatment” —-sounds like the old “I’ll have you committed” if this or that threat to me. “There was also the suggestion that there was domestic violence.” —–Ya think? Anyhow this was 1960 so it was probably sugar coated. Ok so he run her off. The suspected “legal” dad died 10 years after. If he remarried I’m sure there was domestic violence there too. The youngest of my siblings would still have been 16 when he died. Hopefully the grandparents were still alive to help him¬†though. Of course I still don’t know who Mom and “legal” father was. More needs to be done to determine this for sure.

We are up to 10 half siblings now. Unless the mystery Shirley Reed was my mother. Then that would solve most the puzzle–it isn’t likely it is her. She would be the only other possibility using DNA and following the x while paying attention to haplogroup using a female ¬†2nd cousin match.

I do wish Gedmatch was online though as I really need to look at my admixure one more time —Closer! Where DOES this talk of Biracial come in? I can only guess. My hair was curly but not kinky like it is now. I know my black friends and co workers always said that they thought I was black lol. My DNA shows quite European. Biracial can mean anything though not just Black and White.

I don’t know really how I feel. I felt anger almost at first. Now I feel like my mother needs an advocate or something. I’ve often felt we were on the run, now this sort of suggests it.

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Now it’s not only Valentine’s Day but a Saturday night. Get off of gedmatch so I can get on lol My cousin from Ancestry who was 10 matches up from my 3rd cousin on FTDNA and Gedmatch, finally uploaded ¬†to gedmatch. She is not ready for one to many (last I knew) but I was able to see some things and compare her to my matches. She doesn’t share as much cM as ¬†I thought she would. So what does that mean? Does it mean that the 10 people between her and my other cousin ¬†are only 1cM apart? Wow Whee. I waited for someone to mail ¬†something off for me. Hmm hmm. And they slow walked me. For WEEKS. Finally, they shipped not only that certain item for me, but their kits that I paid for them to take. Yay. So I will be in all 3 pools plus have a couple of known relatives in there too. Should be very interesting ¬†to see. Ancestry trees are helpful but not nearly as important as FTDNA’s data. I like to see how long a block and how much cM without having to pester and provide tutorials to matches to get them on gedmatch. To an adoptee with no name, it’s vital to see how much a match and I share. The trees on ancestry are good, but would be better if we all were on a huge wiki type tree. DNA attached. Sure there would be blunders here and there. But it would all but sound off buzzers when you actually connected. Finding that MRCA would be a lot easier. I got in huge trouble using member connect on ancestry and also the merge feature. Thought I was being a regular smarty pants. Then…..I had to get rid of some wives and “twins” and mother in laws as siblings and mothers as spouses. That last one was because of the “member connect” who was tripping when they did exactly what I was doing. I got most of it fixed without losing too many legit 2nd and 3rd spouses. But when your eyes start watering and you are nodding out, it’s best to quit any methodology you may be working on. And getting carried away with lol

Chr Start Location End Location Centimorgans (cM) SNPs
3 3533555 7506715 10.5 1445
5 73151031 107169632 32.6 6621

Largest segment = 32.6 cM
Total of segments > 7 cM = 43.0 cM
Estimated number of generations to MRCA = 4.2

Above is my cousin (Female) on ancestry who is next in line after my 2nd cousin. She does not match her and shares no X with me. We have determined that we match through a Moore/Ellsworth of NY. Possibly their son Otis but not his wife a Mahaney.

About 10-15 people down is my ftdna cousin (Male) who has that adopted great grandfather on his mother’s side.

Chr Start Location End Location Centimorgans (cM) SNPs
13 30545353 74577343 43.8 10739

Largest segment = 43.8 cM
Total of segments > 7 cM = 43.8 cM
Estimated number of generations to MRCA = 4.2

He does not share on X either nor does he match my second cousin or my Above cousin.

I can’t wait until my cousin (Female) is ready for one to many so I can do more with the data. I’d like to see where they put her. I wonder why Ancestry put her so fare above the rest? They did this before I had any name that matched or circles. The only 2 circles I have are of people who match on my second cousin’s side. Flint/Hart. that is my Rodman Lewis Reed Patchin Phelps West etc.

I don’t do a lot with my second cousins data because her tree is a contradiction to itself within itself and other’s trees who share ancestors. I don’t know what to believe. Even the census makes it unclear who is who or with who. Tons of servents and borders and name changes (nicknames and typos?) Cousins/nieces lived with inlaws etc. I seem to connect with her on all sides. Makes me wonder if we just “share too much DNA” and not truly that close. Crossed lines so to speak? Quakers with tons of kids. Very difficult. She says she has no clue and that she didn’t research whatever side I’m on. i know I’m on that one side but maybe the other also. There are some Clarks, Wheelers, and Tuttles complicating ¬†things. I have two different Hawkins lines in there also.

Chr Start Location End Location Centimorgans (cM) SNPs
4 16777099 34640744 20.8 3624
5 110660142 122475673 10.5 2686
5 159293063 166764272 9.4 1712
8 18402373 26415074 13.7 2663
9 4080724 22002051 33.9 6305
9 77532718 85911749 12.1 2262
14 32497368 57124732 25.4 5816
14 93508235 96686114 8.7 1304
16 13512559 26879594 21.1 2898
19 53609969 61067752 27.7 2390

Largest segment = 33.9 cM
Total of segments > 7 cM = 183.5 cM
Estimated number of generations to MRCA = 3.1

We Do share on X

Chr Start Location End Location Centimorgans (cM) SNPs
X 3113318 21971664 30.1 2631

Largest segment = 30.1 cM
Total of segments > 7 cM = 30.1 cM Actual.

So I figured since we shared on X that she might get it from her father who gets it from his mother but not his dad and so on. So there is 3 grands But we share a Great. So I went back and said well the x can be from her grandmother but NOT her grandfather and his Dad. But there is the Great grandmother on that side. BUT she feels we are connected through her grandfather’s bro and was wiling to have her 1st cousin (male) test if I paid for it. So I had to think about that X and the fact that I don’t seem to share many surnames on that side. Her ¬†paternal ¬†Grandfather and his Bro got X from the mother(Great) But could not have passed it to her through the Father. Yeah, so I look at my other cousins. It’s a shame as we share a lot of DNA.

I wonder since the two female cousins don’t match each other and one shares X with me and one doesn’t if they share on chromosome 5 on different sides. I feel the second cousin is on my Father’s side (lots of cousins on ¬†this side) and the Other one is on my mother’s side (hardly any cousins on this side). The fella I think is on my father’s side too but too far back to match my second cousin. It seems like it’s on his adopted Great grandfather’s side (hahaha). I have other cousin’s that were convinced I ¬†was on their father’s side but it turns out I was on that side that connects to my second cousin. Again too far back to match her. Rodman. ¬†Always a Rodman lol I found a living Rodman who seemed very interested until I offered to pay for a DNA test for them. Haven’t heard a thing since. Maybe they will surprise me and just appear in my matches one day. I feel we would at least be 1st cousins ¬†or something.

I have a nice big group of cousins who all match on chromo 10. Don’t know what is so special about that place yet.

I’ve sent away for an obit of a person who has very little posted online. She will ruin every theory I have. I don’t know if this is easy to follow or not but here it goes. I’m pretty sure I have those Reed/Rodmans in my DNA. the one suspect to be my grandmother married a Ketcham. Quite a few of his ancestors are in my cousins trees. Looks right. Ketcham father. Possibly mating with a Graham/Peltier Or Rowe (Moore decedent) My mother. Really not sure about that. BUT this person ruins this whole theory because–She is the sister of the Reed of Reed/Rodman AND she married a MOORE. Crap. If she is my grandmother and she connects these two “sides” it ruins everything. Because now we are left needing another “side” Still my mother. This is where my second cousins tree that has two different women down as bio mom of these female sibs destroys my search. It’s important. My mother’s Mother has to have the right haplogroup U5b2c2. How I know these girls ¬†don’t ¬†have that? My second cousin. These girls are her grandmother’s sister’s. If they share her mother (and they should) they are not my haplogroup. Another reason I believe it’s on my father’s side. Anything goes if it’s a male from that side (grandfather). BUt It points to one of these sisters (female Reeds) if NOT a male Rodman.

A search angel that keeps in touch with me and has access to my DNA etc. is concerned about the lack of any sign of my mother. Was I born in Canada? Germany? England? Scotland? Was I born here but she from another country? She is off the grid. All this genealogy going on and no one 1934-1967 in the state of NY who matches at all ever? These older siblings…they don’t remember their mother being prego just a few short months ¬†before she died? If she died in Jan 1967 I was born on the last day of Sept the year prior. I was 3 months old. The sibs were at the very least 2 4 6 and 8. Most likely older. Where they gone? Did they actually die in infancy? Were we all shipped off? Was I the only one shipped off and they never seen their mother prego? Did she die in prison? Was I born in prison? Was I kidnapped? Was my mother told I was stillborn? Did she just die last week? It’s maddening. Traditional search never worked because there were no mutual searchers. At least not with info like mine. I’m disregarded because they are looking for anyone but a female born on September 30, 1966 with a dead mother. I found a fellow born on my birthday but a few years prior in NY. I wrote him (replied through his search query) No response. He just posted the thing. He disregarded me because of non id. Such trust we put in a system who lies to us about everything else. They sealed the ¬†records. What makes us think they felt a need to give us the truth. Why? They are not accountable. Why would ¬†they be when we aren’t to find out the truth anyways? They could tell us any old thing. How would we know? But still, we disregard each other, just the way it was intended.

I wanted to go home. I was too young to know my way. They say my name was Lucinda.

I wanted to go home. I was too young to know my way. They say my name was Lucinda.

Guilt=My nature.

I don’t need to know my heritage to know my own nature. I’m guilty. I worry. It’s what I do. If it’s genetic then I don’t need my ancestors to show me that, but it may be a key to discovering who they were. They were guilty. They worried. At least one of them did.

I bought a couple of huge pencil sets a couple of years ago. I admired them. I protected them and packed them away. I broke them out and admired them some more. I love my art supplies as much as I love art. I’ve created with much less. I’ve created with cigarette butts that looked like charcoal drawings and broken used hand me down drawing utensils. I loved them too.

I feel guilty having these beautiful unused pencils and not putting them to use yet. When I crack them open, I’ll feel guilty wearing them down. I feel bad that all my old ones are packed away in different boxes all separated from each other. The ones I claimed to have loved. Out in the cold garage. I’m torn between gathering them all up together and keeping them organized between old and new. I used to have them sorted neatly within color groups. Cheap along with Fancy. OH but these brand new ones, I’m going to break them out and use them. I don’t even have any stumps or burnishers handy for them, but I’m sure I can swing it without them. I’ve no mineral spirits on hand either but I’ve got baby oil and wd4o. I remember. I know what to do. I did my best work with less. I’m afraid of my new pencils, but not that much. They are quite the lookers. They will be old one day whether they be put to good use or no use at all. Who even thinks of these things? Why do I feel ungrateful? Is it because I have such colorful lookers of drawing utensils or that I’ve yet to make them perform? I’ll always keep my old pencils down to stubs (they become water colors then).

I’m going to start with a small page in my art journal of my mother or maybe my grandmother. I have my tools and I need to work. I’ll consider it part of my research. ūüôā