Now it’s not only Valentine’s Day but a Saturday night. Get off of gedmatch so I can get on lol My cousin from Ancestry who was 10 matches up from my 3rd cousin on FTDNA and Gedmatch, finally uploaded to gedmatch. She is not ready for one to many (last I knew) but I was able to see some things and compare her to my matches. She doesn’t share as much cM as I thought she would. So what does that mean? Does it mean that the 10 people between her and my other cousin are only 1cM apart? Wow Whee. I waited for someone to mail something off for me. Hmm hmm. And they slow walked me. For WEEKS. Finally, they shipped not only that certain item for me, but their kits that I paid for them to take. Yay. So I will be in all 3 pools plus have a couple of known relatives in there too. Should be very interesting to see. Ancestry trees are helpful but not nearly as important as FTDNA’s data. I like to see how long a block and how much cM without having to pester and provide tutorials to matches to get them on gedmatch. To an adoptee with no name, it’s vital to see how much a match and I share. The trees on ancestry are good, but would be better if we all were on a huge wiki type tree. DNA attached. Sure there would be blunders here and there. But it would all but sound off buzzers when you actually connected. Finding that MRCA would be a lot easier. I got in huge trouble using member connect on ancestry and also the merge feature. Thought I was being a regular smarty pants. Then…..I had to get rid of some wives and “twins” and mother in laws as siblings and mothers as spouses. That last one was because of the “member connect” who was tripping when they did exactly what I was doing. I got most of it fixed without losing too many legit 2nd and 3rd spouses. But when your eyes start watering and you are nodding out, it’s best to quit any methodology you may be working on. And getting carried away with lol
Largest segment = 32.6 cM
Total of segments > 7 cM = 43.0 cM
Estimated number of generations to MRCA = 4.2
Above is my cousin (Female) on ancestry who is next in line after my 2nd cousin. She does not match her and shares no X with me. We have determined that we match through a Moore/Ellsworth of NY. Possibly their son Otis but not his wife a Mahaney.
About 10-15 people down is my ftdna cousin (Male) who has that adopted great grandfather on his mother’s side.
Largest segment = 43.8 cM
Total of segments > 7 cM = 43.8 cM
Estimated number of generations to MRCA = 4.2
He does not share on X either nor does he match my second cousin or my Above cousin.
I can’t wait until my cousin (Female) is ready for one to many so I can do more with the data. I’d like to see where they put her. I wonder why Ancestry put her so fare above the rest? They did this before I had any name that matched or circles. The only 2 circles I have are of people who match on my second cousin’s side. Flint/Hart. that is my Rodman Lewis Reed Patchin Phelps West etc.
I don’t do a lot with my second cousins data because her tree is a contradiction to itself within itself and other’s trees who share ancestors. I don’t know what to believe. Even the census makes it unclear who is who or with who. Tons of servents and borders and name changes (nicknames and typos?) Cousins/nieces lived with inlaws etc. I seem to connect with her on all sides. Makes me wonder if we just “share too much DNA” and not truly that close. Crossed lines so to speak? Quakers with tons of kids. Very difficult. She says she has no clue and that she didn’t research whatever side I’m on. i know I’m on that one side but maybe the other also. There are some Clarks, Wheelers, and Tuttles complicating things. I have two different Hawkins lines in there also.
Largest segment = 33.9 cM
Total of segments > 7 cM = 183.5 cM
Estimated number of generations to MRCA = 3.1
We Do share on X
Largest segment = 30.1 cM
Total of segments > 7 cM = 30.1 cM Actual.
So I figured since we shared on X that she might get it from her father who gets it from his mother but not his dad and so on. So there is 3 grands But we share a Great. So I went back and said well the x can be from her grandmother but NOT her grandfather and his Dad. But there is the Great grandmother on that side. BUT she feels we are connected through her grandfather’s bro and was wiling to have her 1st cousin (male) test if I paid for it. So I had to think about that X and the fact that I don’t seem to share many surnames on that side. Her paternal Grandfather and his Bro got X from the mother(Great) But could not have passed it to her through the Father. Yeah, so I look at my other cousins. It’s a shame as we share a lot of DNA.
I wonder since the two female cousins don’t match each other and one shares X with me and one doesn’t if they share on chromosome 5 on different sides. I feel the second cousin is on my Father’s side (lots of cousins on this side) and the Other one is on my mother’s side (hardly any cousins on this side). The fella I think is on my father’s side too but too far back to match my second cousin. It seems like it’s on his adopted Great grandfather’s side (hahaha). I have other cousin’s that were convinced I was on their father’s side but it turns out I was on that side that connects to my second cousin. Again too far back to match her. Rodman. Always a Rodman lol I found a living Rodman who seemed very interested until I offered to pay for a DNA test for them. Haven’t heard a thing since. Maybe they will surprise me and just appear in my matches one day. I feel we would at least be 1st cousins or something.
I have a nice big group of cousins who all match on chromo 10. Don’t know what is so special about that place yet.
I’ve sent away for an obit of a person who has very little posted online. She will ruin every theory I have. I don’t know if this is easy to follow or not but here it goes. I’m pretty sure I have those Reed/Rodmans in my DNA. the one suspect to be my grandmother married a Ketcham. Quite a few of his ancestors are in my cousins trees. Looks right. Ketcham father. Possibly mating with a Graham/Peltier Or Rowe (Moore decedent) My mother. Really not sure about that. BUT this person ruins this whole theory because–She is the sister of the Reed of Reed/Rodman AND she married a MOORE. Crap. If she is my grandmother and she connects these two “sides” it ruins everything. Because now we are left needing another “side” Still my mother. This is where my second cousins tree that has two different women down as bio mom of these female sibs destroys my search. It’s important. My mother’s Mother has to have the right haplogroup U5b2c2. How I know these girls don’t have that? My second cousin. These girls are her grandmother’s sister’s. If they share her mother (and they should) they are not my haplogroup. Another reason I believe it’s on my father’s side. Anything goes if it’s a male from that side (grandfather). BUt It points to one of these sisters (female Reeds) if NOT a male Rodman.
A search angel that keeps in touch with me and has access to my DNA etc. is concerned about the lack of any sign of my mother. Was I born in Canada? Germany? England? Scotland? Was I born here but she from another country? She is off the grid. All this genealogy going on and no one 1934-1967 in the state of NY who matches at all ever? These older siblings…they don’t remember their mother being prego just a few short months before she died? If she died in Jan 1967 I was born on the last day of Sept the year prior. I was 3 months old. The sibs were at the very least 2 4 6 and 8. Most likely older. Where they gone? Did they actually die in infancy? Were we all shipped off? Was I the only one shipped off and they never seen their mother prego? Did she die in prison? Was I born in prison? Was I kidnapped? Was my mother told I was stillborn? Did she just die last week? It’s maddening. Traditional search never worked because there were no mutual searchers. At least not with info like mine. I’m disregarded because they are looking for anyone but a female born on September 30, 1966 with a dead mother. I found a fellow born on my birthday but a few years prior in NY. I wrote him (replied through his search query) No response. He just posted the thing. He disregarded me because of non id. Such trust we put in a system who lies to us about everything else. They sealed the records. What makes us think they felt a need to give us the truth. Why? They are not accountable. Why would they be when we aren’t to find out the truth anyways? They could tell us any old thing. How would we know? But still, we disregard each other, just the way it was intended.
I wanted to go home. I was too young to know my way. They say my name was Lucinda.
I just got done reading a post that went something like this: Lets face it, a tree without it’s roots is worth nothing.
Well. I’m glad I got roots. Silver Gold ones at that. I am the roots to my tree and be not confused, it is a strong healthy tall one that is branching out more by the day.
In other news, I got 4 new matches on FTDNA. No closer, no trees, no surnames, no sharing of origins. I googled them though. One likes history and another has an antique shop. One plays facebook games and the other (person who handles the kit) likes something to do with Jihad. O.K. Moving right along……
There is a new query on cousin connect; a fellow born on my birthday in Upstate NY but 5 years ahead of me. I wrote to him and No reply. I wonder if people get notifications like I (hope) I do. I’ve got a couple so far, but now worry if I got them all. You figure if one takes the time to post a search they’d be on the look out for replies. I don’t rule out any possibilities of siblings as I don’t know what is true or not. This fellow was put up right after his birth and it doesn’t seem she would give us all up one by one then die, but stranger things have happened. I’ve noticed people are quick to rule people out. I seen it on facebook recently as well. One lady commented to another about possibly being siblings and she was quick to say no, there were no others. Just how do we know that? Because people have been so darn honest? And the world is pink and fuzzy and nothing ever goes wrong….I know I know lol How is that handled though? One lies and keeps secrets and then admits to something/someone. Do they say, well, while we are at it, there are a few more? Or do they just keep hiding the truth? What about half siblings? How would they really even know especially when parents are deceased? Yet, they do. Somehow. “Enough is enough” attitude maybe.
I once worked in a mental health wing of a hospital (or two or three) and there was this girl in her early twenties. She was smart and pretty. She was a nymphomaniac. For real. She had some other things going on as well. She was about 8 months pregnant for her 11th child. She had tried to keep a couple of them in the beginning, but one by one the state got them. It got to the point where they would just automatically take the child from her in the hospital. She knew this and spoke of it. She told me as I took her vitals and handed her worksheets how she gave them life for the greater good. They were stationed all over the US to report to an extraterrestrial higher being. They were actual angels here for a very important reason and she was doing her job to transport them here. She glanced away every now and then to flirt with one of the fellows playing the Wii game across the room. I watched his little ears turn bright red. She continued to tell me how she knew what she was doing and knows that it is a very beautiful thing, her mission. Later one of the techs told me how the state wanted to try and force her by law to get her tubes tied but couldn’t as she knew her reproductive rights. She wasn’t stupid, like I said. She knew how to get what she wanted. She felt it was her job or duty to have babies. I bet they were in fact beautiful. I wonder what lies they were told to “protect” them? I know if she were my mother I’d want to know. Regardless. It’s a way interesting story. It’s the truth and that makes it even more interesting.
Point is, it’s more than possible for children to be put up one by one. All half siblings. And the state knows the truth.
I read a couple of adoptive parents’ ads soliciting pregnant girls to sell them their babies. What a wonderful home they would have and how the wife does yoga. After all, in this stressful world one must meditate, don’t ya know. Buy a kid, relax at the poolside. The husband was holding a puppy, such a nurturing fellow he was. Did he adopt the dog too? I hope he told the puppy about it’s roots and how he saved him from the gas chamber. Oh wait, that doesn’t fit here. Why would he provide a home for a doggie in need when he is willing to convince a young mother to sell her child? No, he must have got the dog from a puppy mill. This same site has a reunion search. I’m not seeing this as the triad I once understood. The triad was once the natural mom, adoptee and supportive adoptive parents also interested in truth and reunion. Not people who would talk women into selling their babies.
I also had a looksy at a post I somehow missed. A woman griping on 23andme about those pesky adoptees wanting in on her wonderoushitblunderous family. It’s hers not yours! she cried. She made her own post because she was taking a break from harassing adoptees on every forum she could find. She basically claimed she had no dog in the fight just likes to talk smack. She’s got a dog in the fight. Dog fights are illegal. 😉 I don’t know what her hang up is, but she is fearing someone popping up. I know every one of us adoptees who seen her was thinking the same thing. “Dear GOD don’t let me be related to this troll!” lol There is no way we weren’t all thinking that. Such rage though. Maybe she is worried that mothership I hinted at earlier was returning a reporter or two to her. Or perhaps dear DADABrother had been at it again years ago. Can’t break the CLOSE family tree you know. Someone really should wear some big Baby Jane pig tails, paint some freckles on their face and show up to her next family shin dig complete with a red checkered bib and an over sized fork yelling “Mama! I’m back! Some’in’ sure smells good Mama. I’m ready to chow down on that!” And someone else needs to hold the camera for the youtube that will surely get a million hits. We could raise money for an adoptee DNA project to provide kits for those unable to get them at the time. I kid, I kid.
There is a serious side to this too. It wasn’t coming from her. She was just a whacko who’s selfish and unkind. But I have noticed some people in general that are too pushy. It would be nice if people were kind but your average bear has his own agenda. Not all of course. I love to actually be able to assist someone because I know it helps me. I’ve learned that at an early age. It feels good to be in a position to help. I help where I can and still try to help where I can’t yet help. Not everyone is about that, including some natural mothers and adoptees. I see a lot of demands and quite frankly, stalkers and control freaks. One woman helped another by approaching her birth family without her consent. Blow your own old horn time. One sent a dozen emails and was going to go to the door if they did not answer their phone immediately. One father got out of prison and was getting help from searchers to find that naughty woman who changed her name and left town with HIS child. Can you say protective order? I stay within not only my legal rights, but what I feel are my moral rights. I respect others. I feel that’s what’s right for me and those around me. No, I don’t always get it in return, but then again, I don’t try to hang with those who are negative like that. I’m always a little afraid people who tread on others are going to ruin everything for the rest of us. People can and do stereotype. It’s what they do. I hate when someone just “sees you coming” because of what someone in your “group” has done. A lot of doors get closed like that.
My second cousin once asked me “Are you prepared for rejection?” LOL Prepared? Honey, I LIVE it! I’m well versed in reject 🙂 I would love rejection, because you have to give an answer with that. Yes, we are your birth family and NO we want nothing to do with you. That can be my truth. That would be much more than what I have now. I still would like to know my mother and to have a photo of her. I want to know that I myself didn’t drop from that mothership. A reject of that superior land of beings. Or to know I wasn’t a 1960’s experiment gone wrong/right.
I’m finding a lot of cousins from the Netherlands, Norway, mostly Scotland and Ireland. I think these distant cousins are on my mother’s side. There are some showing Germany and England but not that many. I have a few from Portugal. Interesting stuff here. I can’t attach my nameless self to it yet though. I may attach if I can get a little closer than 4th cousins. I sometimes move myself around on my DNA tree to see what hints I get. I’m almost to the point to where I can do this on my mother’s side-or the side I think is hers. The main problem is most of my cousins end up connecting to my father’s huge side. I have 75 pages of cousins on ancestry and 86 on ftdna. I don’t know what 23andme will bring. Not enough people on gedmatch. I try every chance I get but people seem scared of gedmatch for some reason. I may just try it with my 3rd cousin’s gggrandparents. I don’t know how much cM we share because she is on ancestry. But I know she is the first one listed under 4th-6th cousins and is 15 people ahead of a fellow who shares 67 cM with me. He IS on gedmatch as well so I know. He shares a longer block than my second cousin does too. I’d love to see if the 3rd cousin shares X and how much cM. I want her in my chromosome browser! But so far she has not uploaded to Gedmatch. 😦 I won’t even talk about haplogroup. My lonely haplogroup U5b2c2. I stand alone with that so far.
I am to the point that I hesitate to even post on DNA groups because I have to ask myself “What am I even asking?” The answer is Everything. I do read and try to study. The old brain doesn’t comprehend the way I want it to. Part of it is, when I’m online, I’m also cooking, telling small child to get off the dog, getting clothes ready etc etc etc. That is not going to change anytime soon. My concentration and focus will, I hope and soon. 🙂 I know more than I did yesterday but not much when it comes to DNA. I did a segment search on GEDmatch and thought it was just the neatest thing, except I had no idea how to save or analyze the report. I noted who matched on what chromosome then got confused as too how many chromosomes they matched on and how much they matched on each one. I was looking for patterns. I took a look at haplogroups and found some other U5 s. Yeah, I confused myself. I’m doing stuff over my head right now.
When I get like that I go back. it seems logical to just go back to the beginning and try to put things into proportion. My second cousin is going to help after the holidays. She doesn’t want to wreck anyone’s life with the knowledge of my existence. Not being funny here, it’s just the way it is. I know that we share a common great grandparent. Or two g grandparents? I wonder if we only share one grandparent if that would change things? It seems someone perhaps stepped out/cheated. Or did something out of wedlock. Which means we don’t share a set of anything. We are in the same generation. See how my thought process is (lacking)??? So I’m wondering since we are a 204.4 or so cM (ftdna stopped rounding things off) If we are connected by one grandparent and not 2 great grandparents. Can’t get my head around that.
I also did a myorigins search on ftdna while I waited for other matches to appear, my ancestry to post, and my geno 2.0 to transfer. I seen two 2nd – 4th cousins that matched my origins perfectly. On this page you don’t see profiles just their photos and their relationship to you. So, I went back to look for them within my matches so I could look at their trees and read their profile for surnames etc. Ah, they were not there. I went back and re read the origins and the drop down did show them as my matches. For some reason, these two only shared their origins information and not anything else. The myorigins even puts them on the map. They were both in NY, some other state, and in Scandinavia. FTDNA didn’t answer my email nor could find any info on this. It left me wondering how many matches we have that we simply don’t see because of their privacy settings. One I googled and she is into genealogy. It seems she would want to find matches, but maybe that is not the focus of her study. I know there are plenty of people just wanting to know certain things about their DNA and not necessarily wanting to know….people. No alive new people will be added to their tree lol Perhaps when I die they may add me as an unattached person. A shrub, sapling or sucker to their mighty oak 😉
The geno 2.0 transfer.
I’m not certain what they are transferring since I’ve found out that test is different and wont show up for haplogroup projects. They accepted me to the U5 project but my data won’t post for them because of the testing being different. Great. Kind of defeats the purpose. I had no idea or I would have just got the full mtDNA on Ftdna. I thought because of them being the lab that handled genographic and they did the transfer it covered that. So my haplogoup won’t be searchable/viewable to the project. I was hoping to join a project to find matches within it. I joined anyways and might upgrade someday but not anytime soon. I can’t spare a dime right now. Thanks, Santa lol
I’m learning this all very slowly. I think I’m about to find my birth father. I’m wanting to know who my birth mother was. My online life goes like this–check for new matches on gedmatch, curl my lip a little, play with some tier 1 tools that I don’t understand, (I did understand the family tree projection one and it really helped my brain -but not my eyes following all those lines of possibilities), go to ftdna and hope for new matches, lip curl again, check stupid geno 2.0 transfer, check dnaancestry get mad and rant about hiring more people and working them more hours, look at hints for my pretend tree on ancestry. Find mistakes in other people’s trees and wonder if they want to know lol —compare trees and then I end with at least 30 surnames to put in front of 1933-1967, 1934-1967,1933-1966,1934-1966,1935-1967,1935-1966, then bookmark them all until I have more things to link them to……
My search Angels have all but passed out. I have two. They work in different ways and I try to let them know what the other is doing. One is not a search angel really, she works data bases sort of. The other is more of a genealogist that is learning DNA as well. Me, I’m all over the place but I feel that is needed sometimes. There are tried and true methods in searching, but in my case, they haven’t worked. Both of these people feel that non id info is correct for the most part. I’ve heard that it’s way off a lot of times by reunited adoptees. I question if they are actually reunited with the right person because of my own “match” 14 years ago. I don’t know, but I do know one or two years difference in age or dates can be huge. I know that I have no matches anywhere near Syracuse. A few that may have wondered through though.
I found a woman who had surnames of my matches in her family–she died in 1977 though and her son died in 67 of sepsis – not her. Can I rule her out? Not likely at this point anyways. She was 32 in 1966. There are other people like that with no kids listed but on the grave stone it says “Mother” …yeah. I don’t know what to look for with that because I have found Find a Grave memorials that show where they had 4 or more still births. Are those my “siblings”? Don’t know. Not enough information….ever…
It’s break time or time to break.
I quit a lot of search and reunion groups. Some because I really can’t take some of the cat fights. Some because of the people that expect …..everything. I’d be happy with a name and photo. I really would. I simply do just want to know. I’d be thrilled if there was an alive sibling who wanted to meet, but I would not DEMAND it, nor would I Whine if that isn’t possible. I quit one that just seemed like a huge clique. I’m at the stage in life that I find it hard to welcome negativity with opened arms. I quit some because I was simply on a roll with quitting groups that were non active, people griping or full of spam. I quit one that ignored the hell out of me lol (I kept the friends that I made on there though) I stayed in 2 that actually seem to be keeping up on spam and hate.
Some of the groups have members that think because my mother is supposedly dead that I am not a real adoptee. They feel that because my search isn’t mutual that it’s ridiculous. I do admit that at times, I think they are the ones that are ridiculous….them, with their names and locations and exact dates and their maps to the front doors of their family that scream and post after an hour of searching of how remarkable it was to “find” them. Then their screaming and demanding that they be welcomed and etc etc. Sometimes I want to cyber yell at them “You,you,you NAME PERSON!” lol In all seriousness, I don’t feel this way often or for a long time, but when I’m treated as the one that Actually doesn’t have the right to know, I do feel this way. I’ve had enough people in my life feel that I’m undeserving of anything at all ever, I don’t need to take it from fellow adoptees…or fellow anythings. I don’t dish it out, I don’t want to take it.
Right after I check on a few more things. Really, just a few more things.
My mother’s death was due to Septicemia caused by streptococcal infection origin unknown. Seems like she may have had another child after me in 1967. It depends how “early” in 1967 she died. My info seems off so she may have died quite late in 1967. If that is the case than it is likely she had another child and died shortly after child birth.
She had a healthy full term pregnancy with me, an 8 lb 2 oz child, so It makes sense she may have died later in the year of 1967 after having a preemie or abortion (natural or induced).
They changed/reassigned all/most the Cause of Deaths in the 60’s and prior from Septicemia to other things. That’s why it may be important for me to search with broader causes such as “brief illness” “fever” etc.
If she passed away in “early 1967” then it is still possible she got pregnant again and miscarried (natural abortion) and died from infection. This makes sense but so does toughing it out for months after I was born. She would have to have died in January 1967. 1. because that would be long enough to suffer from my birth and 2. because the state is stupid and “early” would have to be the first sign of “early” Which would be January. Early should mean 1-4 (jan-apr) based on a 12 month year containing early, mid, and late. But look who we are dealing with? The “reporter” of these facts may also be a cut and dry type, going by early and late. First 5.5 months being early and Last 5.5 months being late. If she died closer to mid or late 1967 then there was enough time for the theory of another child to be true. Getting pregnant early after giving birth might have led her to a botched abortion which especially back then would be almost certain sepsis. It is certainly something to consider and adds more to my search. Anything is possible even if improbable.
It’s hard playing this guessing game with my life and my family. They (the state of ny) should really be held accountable. Perhaps liable for upholding these biased hateful crazy laws.
Information recorded is only as good as the reporter. They could have scratched any old thing down knowing that it will be sealed and secret and no one will ever find out. Or so they thought. Shame on all of them involved. Unknown is far better than incorrect data. Integrity regardless of amount of pay or weight of work load is vital.