Pep in my Hobbling Step

99.998% sure I just got off the phone with my Brother. He is not only going to do DNA but is going to get it himself. After I received my updated non id info it shed light on an old candidate for a mother who got put on a back burner due to marital and child differences. He has a great sense of humor and was like talking to FAMILY, It seems they had a lot of questions growing up that this discovery (ME) seems to answer.

Thanks to DNA and Melanie and Julia and my special cousin Taffey and Wendy and others,  I think we found them. I got off the phone knowing I had to correct my DNA tree a tad (still don’t think it’s right) I had great grands wrong on one line so didn’t get DNA HINTs but I had the 22 other DNA hints. But I went to the store. I blabbered to the cashier —he was very supportive. lol Poor fella. I have been having a few aches, pains and concerns lately but somehow there was a little pep in step on the way to my suv. I almost cried then I didn’t then I was a little mad about the time wasted—then happy—No, I think I will cry, nope ok. I talked to myself on the way to and from the store. I didn’t care. How dare they keep us all in the dark with our suspicions? Well my brother and I talked for hours. We laughed he said I sound like my sister including the things I say itself. They had mysteries and things they wondered about but never knew about me. When I told him I’ll try to spit it out quicker and spare him details he said “no tell everything–this is like too smooth as it is answering so many questions we had and blank periods of times and missing pieces.”  He was VERY interested. I couldn’t believe it as usually I have to hurry and sum things up not to bore people. OMG.

This is unbelievable and I can’t express my feelings completely because I don’t know them. Connection? Truth? I can’t believe this. i am so happy. I hope they send a photo of ….Our Mom? Is it Our MOM? I have stood alone my whole life other than my own kids and grandkids etc. Could it be? I’m not alone? I think I may be happy. I’m scared a little too. i hope I’m not too fat or ugly or old or TOO anything. I hope I’m enough. This is wild. I hope it’s true.

It seems I am not “that damn baby” after all. My siblings  didn’t know and it looks like my maternal grand parents may not have either.

So I’m going to make some coffee and do a little of this and that. And see if they got my email yet 🙂

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A little bit of progress

23andmeAncestry

I made it to step five ahead of 2 of my kits that were ahead of me. They have now made it to 4.5. I am getting little results here and there like the one above. Still not really German…. This one shows more Irish than the others seems like. It’s Northern Europe like the others. What happened to my Scandinavian thingy? lol It goes to show, the longer you have to wait on results the less Scandinavian you become lol If I waited any longer there is no telling what I’d be. 😉

I’m now a hair more Neanderthal as well. 2.4% I think I believe the geno 2.0 (2.3%) more as it includes my Denisovan 1.5 % as well. I’m still U5B2C2 but they left off the last 2. A lady and I shared genomes before my results even came in due to us sharing this haplogroup –a few surnames and locations in common and the fact we are just cool like that.

I have been contacted by a DNA pro willing to do a little pro bono work. This will definitely help as I’m going cross eyed with my results. I hope he doesn’t die when he sees my “methodology” tree. I’m thinking he will notice the same things I have but will understand the connections better. He will definitely spot things I haven’t or that I didn’t know meant anything. There is a little pedigree collapse here and there with my Quaker side. It worries me. But because of knowing this I automatically go back a few more gens than I probably need to. There are a few big families that seem to connect me with most of my dna matches. A chick/sibling here and there marrying into their family trees. Way back there are always Ball-Dodge-Lewis-Randall-Briggs-and Wrights. I’m afraid of all the Clarks-Moores-Smiths and Tuttles.

I’m hoping for one more close match and also my “updated” non id.  Patience. I have no new what I call “first pagers” in my matches.

I still check for results a few times per day as I’ve given in to the idea that I’m not going to stop. 🙂

When I was waiting for my FTDNA results I didn’t check near  as often. I knew they were going to take forever.  It was when i was offline the results came in and I found out by a new cousin contacting me about our match. She knew before I did.

I occasionally get emails that state “I’ve read your profile  and I’d love to help with this so I’m working my tree out more for you. You are definitely on my _____ side.” These are so helpful yet they set me looking down a different trail. I sometimes lose my spot lol The latest is a Nelson and yes, I’ve wondered about this branch/line before. Still haven’t found the mrca.

It will all connect soon.

Waiting………

Before I got my kit from 23andMe  I checked around the forums and set up a profile. I did some research and followed posts which showed me the waiting times. I knew I was going to get my kit there but wasn’t sure where I was getting the other kits from. The short waiting times reported back in early February sold me. It seems the minute my kits were received by them things came to an abrupt stop. I’m not alone.  I’m part of the stuck on step 4 group. I know they say allow 4-6 weeks from the time they mark it received (step 3) but the feedback was showing a week=tops, that is before I got the kits. I’ve been stuck on step 4 for a month now. They blamed the snow in NC. I have a kit sent to CA. and it is just as stuck. The problem with this extra waiting for me is, aside from me checking the site constantly, I feel like it’s setting me up for more disappointment. If the results came in already and there were no  close matches then that would be that. Instead I’m going to be so glad that they are actually done it’s going to be a greater let down if there is nothing really there. Blame the snow ….job maybe lol

My “first pagers” that communicate with me have no idea how we connect.  My DNA tree is a mess. I did find common ancestors but really have no idea how recent they are. No sign that any non id is even close. I have not received the updated non id yet. It would be nice if I did. Every “lead” has fizzled out for one reason or another.  DNAancestry matches are all out of order I found out.  FTDNA and gedmatch seem to agree more. Ancestry has a 43cM match with not so long a block way ahead of a match who shares 70cM and a much longer block. They are both on the same amount of chromosomes. There appears to be no rhyme nor reason to ancestry’s assessment to cousins.  Not all are on gedmatch so it makes things rough. I’d love to see my 23andMe results.

My one time but no longer birth mom’s origins are about identical to mine. (Yes her results are done) No we are not even remote cousins. I’d love to have her on gedmatch to lower the threshold just to see how in the hell that old DNA company could call us mother and daughter 13 years ago. At least if we were 7th cousins I could understand a little bit. But it’s too much at this point to urge her to upload to gedmatch. She doesn’t seem that into it. I was sure that we would at least be 5th cousins or something so I could at least say “not enough markers tested but I can see we connect distantly” But NO not even that close.  No match at all. Really, how dare they? Or was my swab contaminated some how back then? I don’t dare think too much on it. I can’t help but think “What the hell did they test exactly? Enough to determine we were both mostly European?” Enough of that walk down memory lane.

One more 1st pager closer than all others is all I need. Actually, my 3rd and  4th cousins want to know too. It may help with some of their brick walls as well.  This journey is exciting and nerve wracking all at once. I’m glad for the technology and chance to find out some answers. I’m also glad that maybe one day my DNA might provide answers for someone else. I am hopeful that it may help me in my lifetime. Maybe it taking an extra long time is because I am going to find a close match. Maybe the lab is on strike. Maybe the whole batch got contaminated. They need to fess up and just sent us new kits plus a coupon for a free one with no expiration date. Maybe I’ll end up checking yet again in the next few minutes although my goal was NOT to for a while lol They can’t tell us all that there is something wrong with our sample and have us believe it. We have already compared notes. No one is moving a long at all what so ever. Many of us have different kits at different labs. They were moving right along just fine, ahead of schedule no less, that is until I sent mine in. Then it all stopped. Crickets…………… Torture. By writing this post I am sure I will have an update or two. Or at least I’ll see someone else on the forum(s) does. I’m following at least 5 threads about this waiting time issue. Something is going on. Maybe it is just the snow. Or maybe it is more important clients than us consumers. They may be working on something special. I can’t imagine anything more important than our kits. If it is that big of a project then get more equipment and help for it. Work more hours. Don’t put us all off. Bigger project should equal more money.  Throw some money into it and make the customers happy. We are all going gray waiting. Some of us may be bald pulling out hair out by the time things catch up.

Patience. I am going to just check and not get my hopes up. If my results are ready….same thing. Grain of salt. No biggie. I  can’t stand it.

Happy Valentine’s Day

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Now it’s not only Valentine’s Day but a Saturday night. Get off of gedmatch so I can get on lol My cousin from Ancestry who was 10 matches up from my 3rd cousin on FTDNA and Gedmatch, finally uploaded  to gedmatch. She is not ready for one to many (last I knew) but I was able to see some things and compare her to my matches. She doesn’t share as much cM as  I thought she would. So what does that mean? Does it mean that the 10 people between her and my other cousin  are only 1cM apart? Wow Whee. I waited for someone to mail  something off for me. Hmm hmm. And they slow walked me. For WEEKS. Finally, they shipped not only that certain item for me, but their kits that I paid for them to take. Yay. So I will be in all 3 pools plus have a couple of known relatives in there too. Should be very interesting  to see. Ancestry trees are helpful but not nearly as important as FTDNA’s data. I like to see how long a block and how much cM without having to pester and provide tutorials to matches to get them on gedmatch. To an adoptee with no name, it’s vital to see how much a match and I share. The trees on ancestry are good, but would be better if we all were on a huge wiki type tree. DNA attached. Sure there would be blunders here and there. But it would all but sound off buzzers when you actually connected. Finding that MRCA would be a lot easier. I got in huge trouble using member connect on ancestry and also the merge feature. Thought I was being a regular smarty pants. Then…..I had to get rid of some wives and “twins” and mother in laws as siblings and mothers as spouses. That last one was because of the “member connect” who was tripping when they did exactly what I was doing. I got most of it fixed without losing too many legit 2nd and 3rd spouses. But when your eyes start watering and you are nodding out, it’s best to quit any methodology you may be working on. And getting carried away with lol

Chr Start Location End Location Centimorgans (cM) SNPs
3 3533555 7506715 10.5 1445
5 73151031 107169632 32.6 6621

Largest segment = 32.6 cM
Total of segments > 7 cM = 43.0 cM
Estimated number of generations to MRCA = 4.2

Above is my cousin (Female) on ancestry who is next in line after my 2nd cousin. She does not match her and shares no X with me. We have determined that we match through a Moore/Ellsworth of NY. Possibly their son Otis but not his wife a Mahaney.

About 10-15 people down is my ftdna cousin (Male) who has that adopted great grandfather on his mother’s side.

Chr Start Location End Location Centimorgans (cM) SNPs
13 30545353 74577343 43.8 10739

Largest segment = 43.8 cM
Total of segments > 7 cM = 43.8 cM
Estimated number of generations to MRCA = 4.2

He does not share on X either nor does he match my second cousin or my Above cousin.

I can’t wait until my cousin (Female) is ready for one to many so I can do more with the data. I’d like to see where they put her. I wonder why Ancestry put her so fare above the rest? They did this before I had any name that matched or circles. The only 2 circles I have are of people who match on my second cousin’s side. Flint/Hart. that is my Rodman Lewis Reed Patchin Phelps West etc.

I don’t do a lot with my second cousins data because her tree is a contradiction to itself within itself and other’s trees who share ancestors. I don’t know what to believe. Even the census makes it unclear who is who or with who. Tons of servents and borders and name changes (nicknames and typos?) Cousins/nieces lived with inlaws etc. I seem to connect with her on all sides. Makes me wonder if we just “share too much DNA” and not truly that close. Crossed lines so to speak? Quakers with tons of kids. Very difficult. She says she has no clue and that she didn’t research whatever side I’m on. i know I’m on that one side but maybe the other also. There are some Clarks, Wheelers, and Tuttles complicating  things. I have two different Hawkins lines in there also.

Chr Start Location End Location Centimorgans (cM) SNPs
4 16777099 34640744 20.8 3624
5 110660142 122475673 10.5 2686
5 159293063 166764272 9.4 1712
8 18402373 26415074 13.7 2663
9 4080724 22002051 33.9 6305
9 77532718 85911749 12.1 2262
14 32497368 57124732 25.4 5816
14 93508235 96686114 8.7 1304
16 13512559 26879594 21.1 2898
19 53609969 61067752 27.7 2390

Largest segment = 33.9 cM
Total of segments > 7 cM = 183.5 cM
Estimated number of generations to MRCA = 3.1

We Do share on X

Chr Start Location End Location Centimorgans (cM) SNPs
X 3113318 21971664 30.1 2631

Largest segment = 30.1 cM
Total of segments > 7 cM = 30.1 cM Actual.

So I figured since we shared on X that she might get it from her father who gets it from his mother but not his dad and so on. So there is 3 grands But we share a Great. So I went back and said well the x can be from her grandmother but NOT her grandfather and his Dad. But there is the Great grandmother on that side. BUT she feels we are connected through her grandfather’s bro and was wiling to have her 1st cousin (male) test if I paid for it. So I had to think about that X and the fact that I don’t seem to share many surnames on that side. Her  paternal  Grandfather and his Bro got X from the mother(Great) But could not have passed it to her through the Father. Yeah, so I look at my other cousins. It’s a shame as we share a lot of DNA.

I wonder since the two female cousins don’t match each other and one shares X with me and one doesn’t if they share on chromosome 5 on different sides. I feel the second cousin is on my Father’s side (lots of cousins on  this side) and the Other one is on my mother’s side (hardly any cousins on this side). The fella I think is on my father’s side too but too far back to match my second cousin. It seems like it’s on his adopted Great grandfather’s side (hahaha). I have other cousin’s that were convinced I  was on their father’s side but it turns out I was on that side that connects to my second cousin. Again too far back to match her. Rodman.  Always a Rodman lol I found a living Rodman who seemed very interested until I offered to pay for a DNA test for them. Haven’t heard a thing since. Maybe they will surprise me and just appear in my matches one day. I feel we would at least be 1st cousins  or something.

I have a nice big group of cousins who all match on chromo 10. Don’t know what is so special about that place yet.

I’ve sent away for an obit of a person who has very little posted online. She will ruin every theory I have. I don’t know if this is easy to follow or not but here it goes. I’m pretty sure I have those Reed/Rodmans in my DNA. the one suspect to be my grandmother married a Ketcham. Quite a few of his ancestors are in my cousins trees. Looks right. Ketcham father. Possibly mating with a Graham/Peltier Or Rowe (Moore decedent) My mother. Really not sure about that. BUT this person ruins this whole theory because–She is the sister of the Reed of Reed/Rodman AND she married a MOORE. Crap. If she is my grandmother and she connects these two “sides” it ruins everything. Because now we are left needing another “side” Still my mother. This is where my second cousins tree that has two different women down as bio mom of these female sibs destroys my search. It’s important. My mother’s Mother has to have the right haplogroup U5b2c2. How I know these girls  don’t  have that? My second cousin. These girls are her grandmother’s sister’s. If they share her mother (and they should) they are not my haplogroup. Another reason I believe it’s on my father’s side. Anything goes if it’s a male from that side (grandfather). BUt It points to one of these sisters (female Reeds) if NOT a male Rodman.

A search angel that keeps in touch with me and has access to my DNA etc. is concerned about the lack of any sign of my mother. Was I born in Canada? Germany? England? Scotland? Was I born here but she from another country? She is off the grid. All this genealogy going on and no one 1934-1967 in the state of NY who matches at all ever? These older siblings…they don’t remember their mother being prego just a few short months  before she died? If she died in Jan 1967 I was born on the last day of Sept the year prior. I was 3 months old. The sibs were at the very least 2 4 6 and 8. Most likely older. Where they gone? Did they actually die in infancy? Were we all shipped off? Was I the only one shipped off and they never seen their mother prego? Did she die in prison? Was I born in prison? Was I kidnapped? Was my mother told I was stillborn? Did she just die last week? It’s maddening. Traditional search never worked because there were no mutual searchers. At least not with info like mine. I’m disregarded because they are looking for anyone but a female born on September 30, 1966 with a dead mother. I found a fellow born on my birthday but a few years prior in NY. I wrote him (replied through his search query) No response. He just posted the thing. He disregarded me because of non id. Such trust we put in a system who lies to us about everything else. They sealed the  records. What makes us think they felt a need to give us the truth. Why? They are not accountable. Why would  they be when we aren’t to find out the truth anyways? They could tell us any old thing. How would we know? But still, we disregard each other, just the way it was intended.

I wanted to go home. I was too young to know my way. They say my name was Lucinda.

I wanted to go home. I was too young to know my way. They say my name was Lucinda.