It’s going to take the return of DNA results to verify this family it seems. Totally get it. I do. It seems there is a little worry about sharing things with this adoptee stranger to possibly find out we are not related in the end. Worry of disappointment. I understand, who wants to feel like they exploited themselves without knowing? If they knew me though, they would know I wouldn’t judge anyways. But I understand, they don’t in fact know me. So, we wait until it’s safe to be excited about this. It was mentioned that a sibling wants to see a signed relinquishment paper. Problem there=sealed records are not going to provide that. Family courts don’t work like that to begin with much less when there is an adoption involved. They may be able to get some files if there was an attorney involved on their end, acting as the executor of estate or what have you. Perhaps some papers left in an attic somewhere. Not likely but you never know. Anything short of that, well, there is a reason it is called NON identifying information. If there are names to be found, I sure wouldn’t have access to them.
I’m not sure if we are still going to meet and tread lightly or just wait until the DNA is ready first. I don’t want to be pushy but I also don’t want to seem disinterested either. I’m not sure really how to be. I’ve looked for a long time. I feel a little lost right now but that is OK.
So I had recommended FTDNA to my brother. How long is that again? 6 plus weeks? Maybe I should have just told him ancestry and begged later for him to upload it to gedmatch for tools. At least the initial results wouldn’t take so long. My daughter’s FF took 2 + months. OH lawd! Now what? I guess I just go about my days and give this a rest for now. There is really nothing I can do to actively move this along. I am still looking for a photo of Mom. Can’t find one. I somehow feel that will seal the deal for me. Do I look like her? Maybe someday I will see a photo. Patience. I hope I live long enough to see her.
23andMe is usually the fastest but is a total pain in the neck in NY state. I didn’t want to put him through that. Instead, it seems I’ve put myself through ages of more waiting 🙂
Since the siblings are of the same birth order and dates of birth as my non id and their mother died of the same cause of death at the same time as my mother in the same hospital —I’d say it’s pretty certain. If this is not my family then what? Did the non id just pick someone out of the newspaper obits and jot down those circumstances to me? Because I know there is no way in hell any two people would be born the same year and their husband the same year as stated in my non id and have these identical circumstances. Right down to the rumors they heard that coincides with my non id. We are dealing with a city not a parallel universe here.
I must say this is rather aggravating but such is life ….at times.
I’ve urged them all to sign up for the sibling reunion registry itself. Of course that could take years for a response. But at least it would be a paper type proof for them.
I’m not sure what to do at this point, other than wait…..more.